My old neighbor came by for a visit yesterday. We were talking about how social media frequently gives the perception of perfection, making those of us that aren’t perfect, question our choices and decisions. The point is not whether or not we should feel this way, but the fact that we do. The fact that people do tend to post the best of their lives and not the nitty gritty, shitty and frustrating times.
She mentioned she liked this site because we are fairly honest and so here you go my friend, this post is just for you.
Lucy has swimming lessons on Tuesdays at 4pm. Usually Rocky is still napping and thus I take her while my Dad or stepmom stays with the little two. Yesterday he didn’t nap, and I wanted to get him out of the house and so I thought it would be fun if he went with to watch Lucy swim. Which it was…for the most part. Let’s not talk about how his marker got away from him on the bench at the pool and now there is a nice green stripe along the bench…shhhhhhh.
Then it was time for Lucy to finish up, where she takes a shower in the locker room. She’s also freezing after swimming and takes forever to warm up. Fine fine. She’s in the warm water, warming up. Rocky meanwhile isn’t being too bad (it’s amazing how my definition of “not too bad” has changed since that kid came around) but he’s taking off his boots and his socks, leaving them various places around the locker room, he’s pushing buttons on the scale to change it around, etc etc. So I get Lucy’s hair washed, but she won’t rinse it. Thus the conversations goes: Lucy, please rinse your hair. I am. Lucy put your head under the water. IT IS UNDER THE WATER. Honey, not one hair on your head is in the water. YES IT IS. If you don’t put your head under the water, I’m going to have to help you. THAT’S NOT NICE. I AM RINSING MY HAIR. Ok, now I have to help you.
So here I am looking over my shoulder at the 2.5 year old running laps, and the woman who has no kids “because she’s a street photographer and couldn’t imagine having to deal with them” is sssshhing him (really, if all the noise in the locker room is annoying, then don’t fucking do your swimming DURING THE SAME TIME AS THE KIDS SWIMMING LESSONS, IT’S ONLY TWO DAYS A WEEK FOR AN HOUR…FIND ANOTHER TIME), and pushing my 5 year old under the water all while she’s screaming, YOU’RE NOT NICE. YOU DON’T DO THAT TO PEOPLE. Which to be fair she’s right, BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD. RINSE. YOUR. HAIR.
So we get done with the shower, I blow dry Lucy’s hair. This isn’t going too bad. Then I’m helping her get dressed because she’s still freezing and can’t lift her legs up. But WHATEVER we are doing it.
We are walking out the door. Come on Lucy. Come on Rocky. No Rocky you have to keep your gloves on. But I don’t like gloves. I know honey but it’s freezing on so let’s put them on. But I don’t like gloves. I know but it’s cold out. But I don’t like gloves. I KNOW BUT IT’S COLD OUT.
Then this woman with the no kids who is a street photographer kind of laughs and says, “And think of it, you have another one at home.” (she knows this because I met her when I was pregnant with Veronica).
You know what. Fuck you. Yah I do. But you know what doesn’t help? Pointing out to a clearly frustrated mom basically that kids are difficult and oh my how will you handle it when the third was is around. I mean how about saying, Hey, do you need any help? Or. Hey you are doing a fine job, these days happen. And I know that. And I don’t really give a shit what this woman thinks, but still. She doesn’t have kids and so she’s never been there so I have to give her some slack, but it didn’t annoy me any less.
It was a great day really. Kids acted pretty well most of the day. Super fun seeing my friend. Rocky actually started interacting with Veronica instead of just poking her. He was making her laugh out loud. At night the kids were goofy and funny. Veronica went to bed with ease, the elders went to bed with out complaint.
But it wasn’t all beautiful. And it isn’t always beautiful.
I guess my goal is for it to be mostly fun and beautiful. And that’s the best anyone can ask for.