I am a little bit vain. Maybe vain isn’t the right word at all….I just called Jason to ask him if he thought I was vain. He says no.
What’s the word….health obsessed? Judging by the pile of halloween candy on the table next to me maybe that’s not right.
What’s a word for, ‘I like to fit into my size 8 jeans without having the muffin top’. How about we make an acronym of that ILTFIMS8JWHTMT
Sure that’s easy to remember.
In short, I like being thin. Maybe that’s vain. Maybe that’s normal. I don’t know. But I do. I like when my pants button easily. I like when I can see stomach muscles under my skin. Well, maybe I don’t care about the stomach muscles because I have a pretty strong sweet tooth (my dentist will vouch for that….do you floss? not really….do you eat candy? um, yes I love gummy bears…no I’m not going to stop eating them, they are like magic.).
I tend to work out so I can eat (and drink…hello Christmas beer next to me) basically what I want. Ok, I’m not crazy about food or treats one way or the other. I’m not crazy healthy, I’m not crazy junk food. It all has it’s place. Anyways.
Right now – 2 months post baby 3 -I’m not even close to where I was before I got pregnant. And to be fair I was, I think, in the best shape of my life before I got I got pregnant with little miss V. And so, to get back to where I was before is going to take more work. Maybe not to lose the weight in the end, but to be at the fitness level I was at in terms of strength and running ability (yes I do know that Rocky was 18 months old when I got pregnant and I’m now two months post baby and thus I have some time to get back to it and I should have some patience….I’m not patient though..it’s a flaw).
And I’m having a hard time with it. A harder time than I’ve had in the past. And I know for the general population of women who have had babies two months ago, I’m not doing too bad.
BUT…BUT BUT BUT BUT.
It’s bad for me. It’s bad in my eyes: the scale readings (AND GODDAMN IT I DON’T EVEN OWN A SCALE WHY THE FUCK AM I WEIGHING MYSELF AT THE GYM I KNOW I’M NOT GOING TO LIKE THE NUMBER), the jeans that are still too tight (but hey..they button…that’s a win right?), in general how I look.
So I did weigh myself at the gym today. I’m 10lbs over where I was when I got pregnant. And I’m trying to get motivated to get it off. I forced my good friends to challenge Jason and I to a milage game in December. The couple with the most miles for the month of December wins and the losers buy dinner. As they have just run a 15K they will probably win….BUT, I’m nothing if not competitive so I got my ass to the treadmill today (and oh my god I’m done with that shit. Let’s get this done in the cold).
3 miles. Slow. But it’s more than zero. This is my favorite line when having a bad run (too short or too slow)…”It’s more than Zero.”