Unwarming the globe

By on Jan 15, 2013 in Writings | 0 comments

“And then, Mr. President, we simply reverse the polarity of the world’s air conditioners, sucking all the heat out of the air and blowing out cold.  With just a flip of the switch, you’ll get your polar ice caps back.”  The elderly scientist clasped his hands together as he concluded his pitch, as smile drawing up his wrinkled and sagging jowls.

“Mr. President,” a broad chested man in a dark grey suit interjected, his angular face flushed, anger in his eyes.  This was the Secretary of Energy.  “This man is a known puppet of Big Air Conditioning.  He can’t be trusted.  I’m telling you, Mr. President, we have to accept that this can’t be reversed and focus on my proposal.”

The President, a slight man with hair greying at the temples, ran a hand through his remaining locks.  “But webs?  Are the American people going to go for it?”

The Secretary slammed his desk with the palm of his hand.  “Give  Americans webbed fingers and webbed toes and let the damn water rise! They’d be easy enough to attach at birth and then we can set those babies swimming.”

The president looked at his appointee, eyebrows raised.  “And we still get to lose Florida?”

“We still get to lose Florida.”

“Those bastards almost cost me the election.  Who knew they couldn’t take a joke about oranges”

“Then it’s settled, sir?”

The President sat back against his desk, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.  “You’re sure we can’t just drill for more oil?  The scientist from Big Oil said we could make a giant plastic disk to block the sun if we would just drill more.”

The Secretary spread his hands, “Mr. President…”

“No no no,” the president said, waving him off.  “No, you’re right.  We’ve talked about this.”  He took a final deep breath.  “Alright, we’ll do it.  Set into motion Operation Waterworld.”

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