Where does the poop go?

By on Oct 21, 2014 in Parenting | 0 comments

We have some kid CD with some kid song about “poop goes in the potty” and really it should because poop is gross. I mean really.

We are in the midst of potty training Rocky because goddamn it this was the age Lucy was potty trained so he should be able to do the same.  Except of course she was actually probably a month older. And I know I know…boys take longer than girls (so says all my friend with boys). But fine, it’s something we are trying and we are doing ok, hits and misses and so on and so forth.

Today while I was nursing Veronica, Rocky was calmly (for once in his life) playing in the living room. Suddenly he turns to me and says, “Mommy! I’m pooping…” with a look of concern on his face. I respond with Baby V still attached, “Run to the bathroom, come on buddy” to which he responds, “but I want you to go with me…..” Ok, so off comes nursing child (who was about done anyways). She gets flung into the rock-n-play bassinet and into the bathroom I go with Rocky. I hate dealing with poop in the underwear. I mean poop is already gross, but it’s just about impossible when it’s in the stupid underwear. It turns into a game of, ok wait stand here and take your pants off and we’ll try and get the poop to go into the toilet. Ok wait what if you kind of stand on the toilet. No that doesn’t work.

I somehow end up with my entire hand covered in poop all the while Rocky is screaming, “Moommmmmy, now you are all dirty!”

Yes little man. Yes. I am.

I HAVE A HAND COVERED IN YOUR SHIT.

Sigh.

Then I calmed myself down super fast while keeping the gagging to a minimum because I don’t actually want him to feel bad and then the potty training becomes something he is afraid of or whatever.

Of all the parenting things you have to deal with, potty training by far is my least favorite. I know they all get there eventually, it’s just the process is annoying. And I know my mom would say that we are doing it too early and that I was “perfect” because I was potty trained in a day. Note that a) I was 3 (so quite a bit older than Rocky) and b) not perfect as my dad has let me know that I would run around the house with my hand on my ass screaming “Poooooop” or something to that effect.

So onward? Give the kid another month in diapers to give him a break? I don’t know.

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